First 3 Months in UPSI

It has been a while I have not update my blog. I was just enjoying my life as a university student at the moment. A lot of things has changed, especially about myself. It is like I just turned to the other page of the book, may be like I just started a new book. I am no longer being the introvert.

It started when I joined the college committees. I was never being more scared than having to try out the interview of finding the executive committee members. I was persuaded by my own senior, the same senior who also helped me during my registration. I tried out for Academic Executive Committee, but it seemed like I could not get it. So I tried out for Culture and Arts Executive Committee. I was to respond carefully about how to deal with certain situations as they told me. I even had to sing. Finally, I got in.

About a week later, I finally had my first ever meeting with other executive committee members including our bosses (which were also the ones with important duties for the college). We got to introduce ourselves, knowing our roles as executive committee members and of our responsibilities. From that moment on, I tried to blend in and I felt really comfortable which eventually made me becoming more braver to speak in front of the crowd and never to conceal my imperfections (we humans make mistakes but be sure to reduce them as much as possible).

Arts and Culture Executive Committee members

Furthermore, I became more closer to my religion. Since I went to the church here, in Tanjung Malim BEM, also known as R.G Ministry, I became in love with going to church every Sunday. The congregation 99% consists of youths, students from UPSI (also me). I even joined the missionary for students like me, which is S.M.Y which stands for Saya Murid Yesus (I am a student of Jesus). I learned a lot from that activity. I became more in love with reading the Bible and pray ever more often. I even able to make more friends and a virtual family formed among the church community, especially for my college home sale group. I became a better person than I was at the beginning of my life as a university student. Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!

Hosanna Home Cell Group

I also would not forget about my studies, tasks, assignments and quizzes to focus on. Busy as I may could be, I would not put aside my main responsibility as a student of UPSI. Okay. This is it for now. I will update my blog whenever I have the time.

University life begins

Who knew that this day could come? First day of stepping into a university as to become its student. A reknown university in Malaysia, University Pendidikan Sultan Idris. A few thousands of kilometres from my hometown just to be here.

The front arch gate of UPSI, new campus side.

The biggest hall in the campus is just behind me, Dewan Tuanku Canselor (DTC).

We were to be registered in the great hall, getting a dorm room and took care the registration business all about.

After that, all of the freshies had to go through orientation to get to know more and better about the university and what we should or could do during our study there. I bid farewell to my parents whom had been with me the whole registration session. I really appreciate them. Furthermore, I had a little help from one of the seniors. If not for her, I would have very limited time to get ready a lot of things for my stay at the dorm. She really does care alot about the wellfare of the students from Sarawak.

UPSI panels with Sept 2018/2019 freshies

Unfortunately, we had very little sleep. But so did the commitees who handled the orientation. Well, I will upload more about the orientation in the near future when I had the time. Hashtag, UPSI BEST!

Travel and university registration

I had never left Borneo island my whole life before. Just thinking about it making me miss my homeland. However, in order to further my study, I also had to move further.

Just three days ago I was in West Malaysia. My eyes had just opened wide. It was like I was in a far devoloped country and everyone seemed to act like elitist. But that was in Kuala Lumpur. My parents and I went to several interesting places there, with the help of my cousin. We went to the National Monument, KL Tower, Sunway Velocity (we stayed at the hotel there), Midvalley, Berjaya Times Square, Genting Highlands (in Pahang). With very limited time of 2 days, it was not really enough to explore many interesting places and discover variety of food. Some things also turned out to be very surprising. Nevertheless, it was National Day's mood for the people there.

After that I went to Tanjung Malim, Perak to stay overnight to wait for my registration for my first semester degree at UPSI.

Further study in a university

On the 31st of July I was offered a degree in UPSI (Sultan Idris Education University). Although the university is mainly focused on education degree, I got the degree for non education, which is degree in Digital Game Design. It was not easy to get such a course because I had to take a written exam and had to went through an interview with the lecturers themselves, just to be able to get this. This would be an opportunity for me to ever first time leave Borneo island and pursue degree in Peninsular Malaysia. UPSI is located in Tanjung Malim, Perak. I suddenly felt excited and sad at the same time. Excited to about to further study but sad about being far away from my family. I had a lot of things to prepare. Like my medical check-up record, important documents, necessities, apply for a student loan and registration fee of roughly RM2,508 including the fees of staying at the dorm. I also started to miss my family already eventhough the registration is on the 1st of September. I will update about this thing soon enough. Last but not least, I just want to thank the Lord for have given me the chance to continue my study. Without Him, I would be nothing.

Expressing some minor issues about myself (DO NOT READ THIS BORING POST)

Most of the time I would not show my true emotions. If the pain is too unbearable, I would conceal it in any way possible. My parents are great, caring and very protective. If in any way I reveal small detail of depression, they would be very concerned. I am very sorry for my brother whom my parents seemed to be less concerned about him, especially my father. Sometimes, parents should never be bias with their children.

I wrote this thing down in my blog because I knew that they would not read this. I even showed them my blog but they did not mind about anything I wrote here. So, basically this blog is like a special thing for me. Anything I could not express towards my parents, I wrote them here. Even I could not express so much to my friends because I could not trust anyone else, and they thought that I have a very easy life. If you read my previous blogs, then you'll know how much mental pain I had suffered due to the previous ruling political party bullsh*ts.

I don't have the budget to go to private college or universities. I was being treated as someone from foreign countries, especially I am a Christian Chinese. However, my mother's race is not even close to Chinese. Am I Chinese or Iban? Just call me a Malaysian. Due to the fact they see me as Chinese, I have no offer to go to university or matriculation college after I had my SPM. Instead, they gave me an offer to go to Polytechnic school. Seriously? Does my SPM result was THAT bad? I was crying for two days about this. After that I studied there for only a week because I felt so down and I realised hope is not lost and I continued Form 6. When I was Form 5, the Chinese teachers were wondering I was too comfortable of my future. I thought I could be a doctor, going to matriculation college and take degree in a university. But then I went to Form 6 and it took me for almost 3 years to get any degree. Unfortunately, my dreams of becoming a doctor just buried. I switched to art stream in Form 6 due to Science stream in Form 6 is heavenly impossible for me to score near 4.00 CGPA.

Lately I had been attending some interviews to be qualified to enter certain universities with specific courses. I have a new ambition, to be an educator or teacher. But then I was told I failed in MEdSI. The odd thing is, my peers who achieved less than 2.90 CGPA has passed MEdSI and called in for interviews. How about the ones who achieved above 3.00 CGPA? Nothing. Another disappointment yet I must endure. Due to the fact just like Jesus had suffered so much and nailed on the cross for teaching about Christianity, I believe something good or better than this disappointment I had.

If someone asks me, "Do you have friends?" I would just tell them the answer they wanted to hear. I do have friends but they are never close to me in many such ways. As if they were like acquaintances. I am extremely introvert, though I dared to talk face to face with anyone. My friends and I never really had that 'special' bond. Like, brotherhood or accomplice or confidants. The reason that I had this type of relationship with my friends is because of my parents. Everything involving outside the house must be supervised by my parents. If they give permissions, I would be glad but if they did not know how to put their noses for their own business, my friend would be not comfortable. So we rarely hang out. Furthermore, the reason also came from myself. I had to admit that I am selfish and a perfectionist. Do you think if I corrected my friends' grammar by private messages could help them? No. Because they think I am a perfectionist and very annoying but they did not realise I was trying to help them. "Bare in mind" should be "Bear in mind", for example. That is why I have inactive social profiles because of I hate reading grammatical errors on their posts. Even I realised I had some issues with my own grammar due to reading too much of grammatical errors and you can nothing to help correcting their grammar and instead being selfish for ignoring.

Now I just follow my parents everywhere they go. I miss my childhood when I can do anything I want but with limits and no worries although I remember since small I have no friends until I went to secondary school. May be I am born to not have friends. May be I just born to survive by my own, and not too dependant to others. Everyone is different, even in the most odd ways of difference.

The New Malaysia

The change in the government of Malaysia has never happened before for the past 60 years until GE14 (14th General Election) took place on 9 May 2018. The opposition coalition party won the election over the former government party that has never been beaten until recently. It would be a new change in the administration of Malaysia. Even though I am not eligible to vote yet, but I do know this election is a major news around the globe, a mark of history in Malaysia. Perhaps this event will be mentioned in a lot of school textbooks in the future.

My mother complained about her index finger being dipped with ink. Well, the perks of being a woman who liked to look pretty I suppose. My parents went voting though. However, the parliamentary seats in my state falls to the new opposition party which was the former ruling party. You know, I am in Sarawak so obviously the new opposition got a place here since the parliamentary seats in Sarawak that they won contributed the most seats in GE14.

I even read twitters about some areas where the votes were counted, the votes were counted for the 4th round. Why would they count thousands of votes that much for 4 times? Can't accept the defeat or what? I hope no corruption is involved because of this reason and also for this reason.

Anyway, I am glad that the 7th Prime Minister of Malaysia is Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, who was also the 4th Prime Minister of Malaysia. At the age of 93, he would be the world's oldest living Prime Minister or leader ever! I am really looking forward to this new era. May Malaysia soar upwards and its people becoming more educated and well behaved.




Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad - 7th Prime Minister of Malaysia. source: google images

Today I breathed a new air. The air of the new Malaysia. Never been this glad about the change in the government party. Democracy is definitely at work. Anyway I had been wondering, what will happen to the last Prime Minister(Najib Razak)? Is there any further news about him? Well, it does not matter. As long as Malaysia, my country has a new Prime Minister who will bring big changes in Malaysia once more! Hopefully about the education systems in Malaysia which had been terribly wrong and the issue of GST. I got this vibe that it was like another new independence happened in this country.

Top 10 Facts About Me

1. I like to collect novels
Novels had been my favourite since I was 10 years old. Usually I am into science fiction, fantasy, mystery, and romance. I am not a big fan of horror stories. Very few guys like to read novels, you know. Few examples like, Paper Towns by John Green, Mr Mystery Series by James Lee, The Mortal Instruments Series by Cassandra Clare and The Eye of Minds by James Dashner.

                          

 

 

2. I hate horror things
Believe it or not, I really hate things look scary or creepy. Even I hate to watch horror movies. It was not that I am afraid, it was just because I do not believe in such things. I mean, did these things even exists? Whenever a friend pranked me with a ghost photo, instead of traumatised, I was disgusted of its ugly features. I mean, who cares? They are not human. I also not a big fan of skull symbols, anything related to metal music or blood and gore. It makes me uncomfortable just to think about it, what more to say about looking at such things. So, never try to invite me over for a horror movie night.

3. I can speak 5 languages fluently
Currently I can speak 5 languages fluently but I think I could understand Thai a bit more than anticipated. I speak Malaysian Malay, English, Mandarin, Iban and Melanau. Iban is a language I learned from my friends, also learned a little from my mother. It is a local language spoke by Iban people in Borneo. Melanau is my mother tongue. So basically, I learned to speak it almost effortless. It is a rare language among the Melanau people in Borneo because the Melanau I spoke is from Rajang. Well, there's only one village I know of spoke this kind of Melanau, it is Kampung Bedil near a small town called Kanowit.

4. I like to hide my talents from others
I had a few talents so I hid them from others because no one would believe me if I said so. Like I could draw well, even portraits. I also can sing very well. I can sing ballads, pop and opera. I never sang in front of others. Too scared and afraid of being negatively judged. And yet, my mother kept bringing me to have some karaoke sessions because she and I can sing duets. Another talent was playing piano. If I can sing, so playing piano is not odd. I only had until Grade 3 certified in ABRSM (Associated Board of Royal School of Music) because I wanted to focus more on the school academic syllabus.

5. I hate and never smoked or drunk
Isn't smoking cause our respiratory system to lose its optimal functions? And I know it also reduces IQ level among youths. And too much alcohol is bad because it can cause liver malfunction and changes in the mental health. Well, if I am stressed, I don't do those things because God is there for us. So just pray to God and remain calm in Him.

6. I hate coffee
If someone ever asked me, "Coffee or tea?" A definite "tea" of course. I never had coffee for breakfast. I had milk instead. I do not know why but I really hate coffee due to its caffeine content I guess? So no Starbucks for me.

7. I liked to play computer games
If I had leisure, I would play computer games. I enjoyed playing it like I read stories from books. I like challenging games like Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, Crysis 3 and Half Life 2. For mind challenging games, I play Nancy Drew games and Life Is Strange. I had the liberty to play computer games as long as I could keep up with my grades and daily chores.

8. I only have two siblings. My brother and I.

9. I am 178 centimetres tall and still growing.

10. I am a cat person. I have 9 cats at home but never brought them indoors because my parents never allowed it.

A Few Things About My Current Situation

I bet no one in this world would want to read this from the beginning till the end. It is so long and boring and wasting time. But I need a place to let out my thoughts. Let me tell you, I am very tedious!

The reason that I had a very low social profile is that I am very poor of making friends. I don't know why I am very bad at making friends but since I was just a child, I had no friends to socialize with. I was just being with myself, my family, relatives and my big brother. Friends at school are not really close to me. So I think I am an introvert? But I spoke on stage, I spoke in front of the audience, I spoke to everyone. May be it is just my nature that I am not friendly.

I had always been stuck with my parents. I love my parents so much and they love me too. So, I think I never really thought about having real close friends. However, until recently. I grew up, had driving license, finished college, waiting to study for degree, I sometimes need time for myself. I wanted to go to the town and spend some time for myself, without anyone. But my parents were too concerned about me and also worried too much that I would be in trouble or anything. So I stayed at home, doing nothing necessary.

Until today, I never thought about having close friends. I like living alone. I even had no feelings for others like most of my peers had. To be honest, I don't even know what 'crush' means. It feels like I have a stone heart. Even if I like someone but I immediately shut out my interests towards that person. Hard to shut it out at first but now it is very easy. Even my mother told me that I have no lust.

Since I am very religious, never drink alcoholic drinks, never smoke, don't do or understand jokes, not friendly, a bookworm and eat more vegetables than calories in my diet, so it would be hard to find someone who share the same characteristics as I am. Well, I found them in GIRLS. None are guys, yet that I met.

I had tried, you know. It was hard. I tried making friends with bookworms too but they are humorous and I am not. Religious people but not bookworms. Making friends with girls is easier for me but with guys are really hard. But, even the girls can't be my friends because, you know, GIRLS. Talking about fashion, make-up, especially boys. I am so not friends with girls although most of them are bookworm and religious and don't smoke and don't drink alcoholic drinks. So, I felt I am the only human being of my own kind. I heard people say, be different. So I am different, but odd.

I know I am very selective in making friends, and that is why I hardly ever have friends. This is my life, I own it. No one cares, but I care. This world I'm living in, I had to pretend to be someone else in order to move forward.

Because of my lack of experience in making friends, I sometimes unintentionally hurt others' feelings. What I said sometimes very direct and sarcastic. But, you can tell me what I said is offensive and I should have said something else so that I can learn from my mistakes. Unfortunately, I hardly ever had met someone who would point out my mistake. They just assumed that I am a bad person. So, I am bad, friendless, and finally lonely.

Good thing is I am still alive. I still have my parents who cared about me. I don't need anyone else to care about me. I still can survive this, with God, and my parents.

The point is, the main reason I am friendless is because my sense of humour. I am terrible at jokes and always serious to others that they became bored with me. When they tell a joke, I could hardly understood it. I even sometimes took it as an insult or sarcasm although I kept quiet about my thoughts. I felt this one part of my mind is blocked but I just don't know it yet.

I also thought that may be I am not happy. I smiled, I laughed, but never the same laugh I had when I was a child. Even my mother noticed but she ignored. The only thing I found to make me happy was study and read books. Or is it to distract my unhappiness by doing so?

Too many questions, yet I am very good at ignoring them. Like loud musics, loud random noises, stinky smell, odours that make you feel sick, people blocking your line of sight, I can ignore them all, well unless it was too strong.

I already talked to my parents about this but my parents are aging and they had their own problems too, especially health problems and problems at workplace. They told me that I am young, doing nothing at home and not worry about anything, and then next time only worry about my study and anything just about it. I mean, who would listen to this 19 year old boy, who lives at the suburbs, staying at home doing nothing and friendless, and always looked strong. They also told me to always pray to God and seek joy in Him. So, what am I to this world?

I was in a local newspaper! (STPM 2017 LIMBANG)

Being one of the top STPM scorer is a big deal and I did not have any idea I was in the newspaper! This is a big thing for me. Praise the Lord!

(From the left) Nisha 3.50 CGPA, Zakiah 3.58 CPGA, Emily Racha 3.59 CGPA, Siti Nurhatira 4.00 CGPA, SMK Kubong Principal Encik Julkipli, Former Senior Assistant(Form 6) Encik Michael, Tiang King Jeck 3.33 CGPA (Science stream), Aaron Wong 3.67 CGPA (that's me!), Asmawie 3.50 CGPA.

Though in the picture I looked down at somewhere else and probably not my best photo but at least my name is in the reports. My full name! Okay. By the way, thanks Borneo Post for this news report. Although Limbang is just a small town but this great news is for everyone. :D

Congrats to every STPM top scorers! Especially Siti Nurhatira, for obtaning 4As and bring SMK Kubong into the spotlight. A little girl like you did not seem to stop you from being big. Congratulations once again.

Purpose of Life

Everything happens in our life has their own purpose. Should I call it as karma or fate? Why did the birds migrate? Why do people can get jealous? Why do we get suspicious of strangers?

The answers could be the birds migrated to avoid winter or drought. People get jealous because they want the things someone has but they could not get them. Because strangers cannot be trusted easily, especially when a friend backstabbed his/her own friend.

What if we did something different? What if we think differently? The birds migrated to find a new home to reproduce due to destruction of their habitat. If we share our joy or achievements with them, they might be not jealous. Every relationship starts from strangers, right? Strangers could be a friend in waiting, an enemy or just someone who are not aware that someone notices them.

In every part of happenings in our life, we actually can choose our own path. It only means of hard or easy paths. Being good is always the hard path. Everyone wants to be good but forgot how to be one. Even the real good people are always the victims of the bad people. That is why being good is very hard.

Being good is not just about just being kind to everyone, talk nicely or comforting. Being good also means having good grades in studies and having a good job. With something they can be satisfied with, they tend to be more happier and be kinder to others. If being a kind person with bad grades in studies and no jobs, it would be almost too impossible to be kind to others for a very long time.

A lot of people said that beauty is in the genetics. To be honest, it is not 100% from genetics. It also comes from their heart. I had seen them in real life, ugly people before became beautiful at an old age because of their kind heart. Beautiful people before, aged terribly at old age due to cruely in themselves. It was true that beauty really comes from the heart. So, be kind and sincere if you want to be beautiful.

Remember, we choose our own path. It is not because of 'I had to' or 'I don't have a choice'. It will always because of ourselves. Never blame others of our own choices, unless intimidation is involved. So make your own purpose by choosing the right path.

My Final STPM 2017 Result

The result came out this noon while I was still at school listening to a short briefing about ways to apply for government universities. And then there was this short speech from the Form 6 right assistant teacher, and from the Principal himself. He even mentioned my name as the second top STPM scorer at school, right after the girl who got 4A for her result. I obtained 2A 2B+, which kind of satisfying despite of being under appreciated by my parents. No congrats from them though, just the teachers and friends from school. Roughly, I obtained 3.67 CGPA for the whole result. Now, it is the time for me to weigh my options for where to further my studies. With MUET(Malaysian University English Test) Band 4, probably not so sure where.

General Study, Malay Language/Bahasa Melayu, Communicative Malay Literature and Visual Arts were the subjects I took in my STPM.

My STPM 2017 Term 3 Result

I was really nervous of waiting for my third semester result in STPM. It is the final semester in my Form 6 journey and this semester is like a matter of dead or alive because we cannot resit for the papers. The result also included with our assignment grades. This is not the final result because the results will be accumulated in the final result announcement on the 6th of March.

I was a little disappointed with my first subject. I got a B-. Although disappointed but still quite pleased. I had obtained 3.67 GPA this time with grades 3A, 1B- if the assignment grades were not included. Gradually increased GPA but still not enough for me. To be honest I was glad that the wait was over. I had done my best and this is what I obtained. I had the second best result at school because the best had 4.00 GPA in every subject. Now I have to wait for the results for the papers I had taken to improve my 1st and 2nd semester results. I do hope this ends well.