Form 6 Dinner

The dinner was more or less like prom but school rules were still applied. The dinner was held in Purnama Hotel, Limbang, Sarawak. Unfortunately, I knew many were not satisfied with the insufficient amount of meals prepared on the table due to huge appetite due to rapid growth. However, we enjoyed the dinner as much as we can despite of the insufficient food. For your information, I was performing on stage as the entertainer for the dinner. I was nervous but it went almost perfectly well, because I suddenly forgot a line of the lyrics near the second verse of the song. Click here to check out my performance I recently posted on YouTube.

This was what I wore to the dinner.

These are my classmates and my class teacher(the one got pointed at). Unfortunately, not all was present in the photo.

This was the only photo I got from my performance that night.

The fun part was the announcement for prom King and Queen. The criteria was very specific, mainly on clothes. No votes(there should be) but chosen by two judges. Everyone thought it was me because I had the best outfit. Unfortunately, it was not me. I knew some people still said that I should be the one but I guess the judges wanted to give the chance to other classes because my class always wins when in terms of fashion and beauty. But the prom Queen was from my class, obviously because she had the most glamorous outfit that evening. Congrats!

The prom Queen(left) and prom King(right)

It was a good experience and I was so sleepy when I got back from there. I really hoped that I can be involved in more events such as this in the future. Good luck for our STPM examinations!

Form 6 Convocation Day 2017

I was trying to be as modest as possible because I am not a proud person. Today is the day I graduate from school, as a pre-university student. However, there were more to come than this, which is our final semester examinations a.k.a the finals. I attended by wearing matching batik shirts with my parents and the graduation robe. No graduation hats because only the ones with higher educations such as degree had the hats. Here I am, a Form 6 student from Kubong Secondary School, finally being able to feel 'almost' free. After this, I need to focus more on my study. It is vital for me to pursue a brighter future, for my family's honour and my own gratification. Good luck to myself.

I was receiving a graduation scroll from the representative of the VIP.

I also received certificates of appreciation for being the best student in my class and the best student in the subject Visual Art.

My classmates and I(left)

STPM Visual Art Exhibition 2017

I did try to enjoy this exhibition but I was very exhausted due to lack of helping hands and funds. This is the kind of exhibition I was not expecting but it should do enough because the point of my class doing this exhibition because it was one of the criteria needed to be fulfilled for our assignment a.k.a coursework. On the 17th of September, I went to buy plugs and bulbs for the lighting. There were 27 students including me, that had paid RM10 each but it was still not sufficient to buy bulb holders and adjustable bulb stands. So I deliberately sponsored more than RM100 to cover those expenses. Only my Visual Art teacher knew this.

On the 18th, I stayed at school until 6.10 pm when the school session was over at 1.00 pm just to set up the decorations and lightings because I was the only one brought the tools like pliers and screwdrivers. Oh, I hoped they were responsible to take care of the tools I brought because they were my father's.

After that, I went home to take a shower and still not having meals yet (I skipped lunch and dinner). I only took energy drinks to buy enough time for me to get ready. Then something else was not enough when I was at home. Some people sent texts in a chat room that some things were not enough. So my parents helped me by giving me a ride because they did not want me to drive in a very tired situation. Thanks mom and dad.

It was around 8.30 pm I got back to school to continue the work. The progress still not very pleasing. I mean, at time like this, they should be stop procrastinate. The exhibition starts the next day so it's always me doing the work. Then, at the very last moments, which was around 3 quarters past 11 at night, the wirings and lightings finally done. I was the last day scholar to be there, the others stayed at the dormitory. Then I went home.

It was around 12.30 am that I immediately switched on my laptop and started to type down every of my classmate's art piece's labels. I decided to sleep with my laptop in front of me because of whole day's work.

I woke up at 5.00 am to continue with the typing and printing and cutting until 7.00 am. Then I went off to shower, got ready for school and had a small breakfast.

So tired as it was, it was worth it. I was satisfied with the experience, the angriness I pulled off and a few mistakes been taken care of. So tired as whatever tiredness is compared to, I got a very non-strategic spot to put up my art piece. At least I had one, although not a good spot because I know people would not go to a dark corner. Darker if without the lights.

I did all my best to present the meaning of my art piece. The techniques, the style, the media, the formal aspects of my art piece and most importantly, the purpose of my art piece were explained. We were given the theme 'Bangkit' as known as rise to make up an art piece regarding the theme. I used the concept of global warming, to raise awareness among the citizens of the earth to stop polluting the air we breathe. Which by the way, I hate people who smoke in public, I mean I just hate them. I don't smoke because I would immediately have breathing problems, so if I cough, please stop smoking.

This was how my art piece looked like. I mostly used figurative meaning to explain the concept of global warming. The man in the centre of the art piece painted in black to show give a contrast effect so that the audience can identify the man first before other subject matters. This shows that man played a vital role in the cause of global warming and just realised that what men had done was wrong and should be controlled like the temperature of the air inside of a hot air balloon. The bottom of my art piece shows that the activities that caused global warming, that was why I painted it with sorrow colour type of mood. Then when moving upwards, it was time to rise and be like the hot air balloon.

My parents came to support me for two days and hoped for the best about this exhibition. It was awesome. What made me felt good (the only good stuff in the exhibition) was my supporting extra art pieces. Elizabeth Tan (2016), Wonder Woman (2017) and Ben Affleck (2017) portraits. That, I was proud.

Many people liked it. Though no credits for me, just admiring the art pieces.

A lot of people came to pay a visit to the art exhibition.

My parents and I with my art piece (left)

For two days, 19th and 20th of September, when the art exhibition held in Dewan Inspirasi of Kubong Secondary school by 6A4 Class of 2017 (and a student from 6A3).

On the 19th, I had a class in the evening so I had to attend because the exhibition only held in the morning. I almost slept that the teacher also asked whether I was alright. Nonetheless, I still managed to drive home.

Talking about how we cleaned up the place, you know, clean up. Just clean up when the exhibition was over, that was at night. The only day scholar to be in school doing the cleaning, and as expected, the only one who swept the floor of a wide hall. I salute myself. I wished that all of this hard work really paid off very well.

Drama Competition (school)

Getting an important role in a drama was quite stressful but I managed to pull it off. The title of the drama was 'All That Money Can Buy', my role as Anthony Rockwell, the rich man. I did not know which mistakes I did, I memorised every single one of my lines, spoke with clear voice and did the correct actions. May be it was because my team only had two days of preparations, which 60% of the props I prepared. However, my team got 2nd Runner Up for this competition. Great experience, above all of that, I was exhausted.

Only the four of us out of ten waited until the prize giving ceremony at the end of the competition.

That was the end of that. Hope to act in another drama but with better props prepared.

My STPM 2017 Term 2 Result

I could not focus on anything on the day my second semester's result came out. I was thinking, was it going to be okay? Then I checked my result with my phone (which was inside the car because we were not allowed to bring phone into the class), I was surprised. It is better than my first term result but I was still unsatisfied with my result. I got 3.5 GPA but not enough.

2As, 1A- and 1C+. The C+ was quite disturbing but no worries, I still can improve my result by resiting for that paper. I just hope that it will be better next time. Now, I need to focus on Term 3, or the final term in my Form 6 journey. Furthermore, there is no resit for term 3 papers. T_T Like the Chinese always say, 加油 which means work/do harder. That is what I'm going to do for this final term. Good luck to myself. How will people know how much I struggled to get good grades like as I was in Form 5 having my SPM?

Happy Eid Mubarak 2017

Although I do not celebrate Hari Raya, I would still respect this celebration in my country. This celebration is a part of the culture in my country, same goes to other celebrations like Chinese New Year, Harvesting Festival, Deepavali, and Christmas. Despite all of that, I'm glad that I had multicultural friend circles.

On the 3rd Day of Syawal(Raya Day 3), my friends and I decided to visit a friend's open house. Only the four of us were able out of seven in our group who could make up time to visit. It was around 6.30 in the evening. The day was already dark as the cumulonimbus cloud was already forming and a little bit of drizzle started to give in. It was not that easy to get to my friend's open house, though we made it eventually. It was around 1900 hours by the time we got there and we were welcomed with open hands. Talked a lot about what we were doing, how's life was going and mostly sharing our experienced predicaments. By the way, she should be proud of her home-made cakes because they were so delightful in my mouth.

On the 4th Day of Syawal(Raya Day 4), I had other friends to visit to. Like 4 houses to be exact. It was tired but it was worth it. Open houses are for getting our community to get along. That day was a wrap for this year's Hari Raya celebration.

Wrong Timing

Today I felt disappointed about something that I was supposed to be happy with. I just got an interview for primary school teacher but it was on the day my STPM exam paper was going on. Why can't the Ministry of Education thought about this? I will not end my future in a blink of an eye, just like that. They wanted me to not to sit for the exam and just attend the interview? If I go to the interview and not passing it, then my future would come to an end. This was very surreal for me. I just couldn't believe it with my own eyes.

I was very sad to look at the date. 23 May 2017. My General Study(Pengajian Am) and Malay Literature(Kesusasteraan Melayu Komunikatif) papers are on that day. The time and date arranged was final and no further negotiations about the time and date can be made. Then, it was time for me to say good bye to this interview.

A Piece of My Mind

I knew that my second semester examination is just around the corner but I already had too many stuffs happening around me. Some were complicated, some were difficult to be explained, and some were the agonies I had to endure.

The school I was still attending, it was torturing me mentally and emotionally. Just imagine that the school's front gate is about 100 metres from the card scanner. The old school rules were about who were late to school will be given a subtle punishment. But just 1 minute or less late to scan my student ID card? I mean, 100 metres from the school gate, a lot of twists and turns in the school compound? Who would have walked in less 5 minutes to the card scanner? Besides, I just knew about this thing(demerit) and the mistakes from the past was also included. I really wanted to say harsh, strong and offensive words but it was not my style. I still can think like a normal person. They just announced about the demerit system, so I came early to school. But mistakes from the past before the demerit system to be announced included, I feel angry at first, then I did not care. In my opinion, honestly I felt the school administration was quite full of dictators and aristocrats. They did not realise what they did had just made more people hate them and spoke badly about them in a harsh tone, with lots of foul words.

The second thing was my class. I could tell that 98% of my classmates were slacking and not studying at all. I was sure of it. They were like "Don't study too hard." And I was like, "What? Never seen a guy study before?" Gosh, the guys in my class were total prank monkey kings and harass master of the pests. Why can't they just stop even for a sec to pull the stupidest jokes and pranks on me? That's why sometimes I said sarcastic things to them and make them think twice before taking actions. Sometimes I did not even care what they did or said and sometimes I became mad at them. Was this a Pre-University student? Get ahead of yourself, man.

The third thing was who was I making friends with. Literally, I have friends but actually I felt no one was a friend at school. I felt unwelcome, looked down, distant and awfully lonely. I never felt happy since I had finished my secondary school. I don't know why. It's been 2 years I have not felt the slightest feeling of joy. My friends at school were not best friends. They just get jealous, want something out of me and I became the person who got to be the victim of all their jokes. I felt like getting bullied. Don't they know that I am a very serious person? Overreacting jokes were not acceptable. If it was subtle, it was still okay. I guess another lonely year for me. I felt more content when I'm lonely. It's better if I was born to be invisible. No one cares what happens to me at school. I was being strong all the time but the truth was I am a very weak person, although I did well in my studies.

The fourth thing was I was not being myself. It was so hard to pretend all the time but I had to do it. Pretend in front of my parents, in front of my friends and to the teachers. I pretend things like I finished all of my homework, being a superior smart guy, a multilingual tongue, accept offensive jokes, making friends... and the list goes on. To be honest, I need a friend who I can share things. I mean, a guy. Because currently I am friends with girls because they are not prank predators like guys in my school. And girls also liked to study, like me. The last time I had a friend like that was 2 years ago. I guess that was when my happiness also goes off whenever I was at school. I need a guy friend who studies and not an overloaded prank predator.

There were more things I still had in mind besides these things I mentioned above. I think I still can be strong and more independent. More challenge, more fun and more bad consequences but little good outcomes.

Pre-University Community Service Project

Since 23rd of February my team had been doing community service project until the 31st of March, so it means my team had been doing this project for more than a month. We were doing it at a church, volunteering for helping the church community. Sadly, I was the secretary for my team. I had to do all the reports and records of any information regarding every activity we did. Fortunately, all is well.

Week 1:

We were having a meeting to discuss for the next activities we will do.

 

 

 We were doing some cleaning and arranging the place where the church community gathers.

 

 

Week 2:

 

 

Before

 

 

After
 

 

Week 3:

 

 

On the third week, we were conducting the children's Sunday School service.







 

 

We also held a colouring competition for the Christian children's Christianity awareness.

 

Week 4:

 

The final week was the main purpose of this project and the required fulfilment of the objectives we had.

 



Some members of my team and I were leading in praise and worship singing.

After that we had a little fun by having games for children and teens.

Some members of my team were absent though. These children were very cute and cooperative.

 

I was glad that it was over with the project. However, I still have a bunch of things to be settled and more activities await me in the near future.

My STPM 2017 Term 1 Result

On that day, which is on the 16th of February, all of the 2017 STPM candidates were having their 1st semester result, and including me. I was feeling nothing about my result and never felt so nothing about my own life. I wondered why. However, every Form 6 students would say something about it.

To make the story short, I was very eager to know my own result that I went to find my class teacher. By the time I found my class teacher, I saw that he was also busy finding out my class' 1st semester STPM result. When he saw me, he quickly showed me my result. GPA of 3.33? Okay.

General Study B-, Bahasa Melayu B+, Malay Literature B+, Visual Art A.

I was kind of relieved but also regretted at the same time. Those B+ subjects were supposed to be A's. That was what my teacher told me. I mean, I studied so hard. But my father told me that I even don't have the basics in Malay Literature and I was a month late of changing stream from science. Because of that, I felt a bit easy. Luckily, they still give us opportunity to resit those subjects to improve the grades. So I will take that opportunity and go for it.

Chinese New Year 2017

Happy Chinese New Year to all Chinese and Chinese related people! The year of the rooster. It had been a wonderful short holiday for me to spend to celebrate this festive season.

This photo was taken at Bintang Plaza in Miri, Sarawak on 28th of January.

On the night of this special Lunar New Year, I could even barely had the limit to sleep due to lights flashing and booming in the midnight sky, or what we knew them as fireworks. Even my neighbour put up the firecrackers that it cracked so loud that I had to cover my ears. Such a long night but these fireworks had some strange beauty in my eyes that I even ignore the predicaments at the moment of watching those fireworks.

Then another pretty exciting and astonishing story just came about just a few moments ago. That was when my family and I went to Lawas (my father's hometown) to visit our long lost relatives from The Land Below The Wind (Sabah). Too much of hoping to meet them in Lawas, we got there just to find they were already on their way back to Sabah.

"Just go to Sipitang. There's nothing to lose." I told them as soon as my father finished talking on the phone with his long lost cousin about meeting in Sipitang, a small town located in Sabah. So we just went there. To be serious, I was very exhauted even after the meeting also even when I am updating this blog. *sigh*

To make this long story short, we somehow agreed to have a small feast at the satay stalls near the seashore after we met for the first time (except my father). There, we sat at the tables linked together to join arm in arm as a family once more. Although my cousins sit at the other tables not linked to our table. We sat there, having coconuts and satay of chicken and beef, tell each other how our lives had been for the past 43 years and mostly about children.

Luckily I immediately asked for their Facebook and Instagram contacts so that we could stay in touch. We took a few... or a bunch of selfies and eventually asked a passerby to take the whole photo of us with our long lost cousins. I was like what the heck, do I even looked like my cousin? If I had known, I would have worn spectacles instead of contact lenses, then may be I would looked the same. Anyway, hope we can meet again in the future.

My brother and I (in red) took photos with our cousins from Sabah. They thought the guy in the grey shirt had a resemblance of me so they told him to take off his spectacles and I cannot even comment if we were similar.

They looked like hot stuffs if compared to me. Seriously, they already reached thousands of followers on Instagram while I only had just over a hundred.

There they are, my father's cousins with their spouses and my parents in this photo. Seriously, too many coconuts in the photo.

Happy Lunar New Year once again.

The Beginning of My 2017 Life

At first, everything went just as what I anticipated. But just a couple of days before New Year, one of my General Study teacher gave us a few titles to choose from and make ourselves a public speaking speech. We were to hand it in by the first week of second semester of school.

However, my very intimidating mother (she scares me a lot) wanted me to join her to Miri and celebrate New Year there, which I was in the middle of making that public speaking speech. I thought I could tell her that I should stay at home but she insisted and eventually upset that made me force myself to agree.

Nothing was special about celebrating New Year in Miri anyway. It was the same as when I was at home.

On the first day of school, I was really exhausted and I was even barely could open my eyes and stay focused in my class. (Still doing that speech)

On the second day of school, I barely could move my limbs as I was already exhausted from doing homework from the first day and making that speech, that made my parents told me to rest. (They don't know why I got very tired)
Later that day, they thought that I was still asleep but I pretended to be asleep. I heard about their complains about me, disappointments about me, and I was surprised to hear what they were discussing about me. That made me reminded myself to keep quiet for as long as I can.

On the third day of school, I was totally refreshed and my speech was handed in on that day with my homework finished. However, I was feeling down about no one even knew that I was absent on the day before. Even the person who sat beside me, nor behind me. I was feeling like I never existed in my class. Since they never actually asked why I was absent, so I kept quiet.

To be honest, happiness was never a part of me any more since last year. So whenever someone interact with me, I was always in a serious tone or being a little too much of sarcastic. That made others not even care about me and I was lonely.

Loneliness has been a part of me to replace my happiness. I am very pathetic you know. I was still okay, I always tell myself that I am still alive and may be I still have a purpose to live. No one have to know what I feel like. I could always fake myself a laugh and never got sad. Anger now is taking over me.

I felt terribly bad that I always got mad at my mother and always being the sulking freak in my family. I don't know why. May be it was because I thought I was strong? Or was it I don't want to show my weakness? So much for my ego.

I am now the least got attention from anyone. I think. Suddenly I thought about this blog and may be I could feel better if I express my piece of mind here. I know that if I express them here, no one will read it. I already checked out the number of visitors to my blog, and only 10 visitors on the first day and got lesser the day after that. But I don't know if they read it or not. That's the other problem. And the best thing about express myself in my blog is that no one in my circle knew that I had a blog.

I will try to hold back my bad attitudes and anger. As long as no one should know the agonies of pathetic life. Good luck to myself then.