Chinese New Year 2017

Happy Chinese New Year to all Chinese and Chinese related people! The year of the rooster. It had been a wonderful short holiday for me to spend to celebrate this festive season.

This photo was taken at Bintang Plaza in Miri, Sarawak on 28th of January.

On the night of this special Lunar New Year, I could even barely had the limit to sleep due to lights flashing and booming in the midnight sky, or what we knew them as fireworks. Even my neighbour put up the firecrackers that it cracked so loud that I had to cover my ears. Such a long night but these fireworks had some strange beauty in my eyes that I even ignore the predicaments at the moment of watching those fireworks.

Then another pretty exciting and astonishing story just came about just a few moments ago. That was when my family and I went to Lawas (my father's hometown) to visit our long lost relatives from The Land Below The Wind (Sabah). Too much of hoping to meet them in Lawas, we got there just to find they were already on their way back to Sabah.

"Just go to Sipitang. There's nothing to lose." I told them as soon as my father finished talking on the phone with his long lost cousin about meeting in Sipitang, a small town located in Sabah. So we just went there. To be serious, I was very exhauted even after the meeting also even when I am updating this blog. *sigh*

To make this long story short, we somehow agreed to have a small feast at the satay stalls near the seashore after we met for the first time (except my father). There, we sat at the tables linked together to join arm in arm as a family once more. Although my cousins sit at the other tables not linked to our table. We sat there, having coconuts and satay of chicken and beef, tell each other how our lives had been for the past 43 years and mostly about children.

Luckily I immediately asked for their Facebook and Instagram contacts so that we could stay in touch. We took a few... or a bunch of selfies and eventually asked a passerby to take the whole photo of us with our long lost cousins. I was like what the heck, do I even looked like my cousin? If I had known, I would have worn spectacles instead of contact lenses, then may be I would looked the same. Anyway, hope we can meet again in the future.

My brother and I (in red) took photos with our cousins from Sabah. They thought the guy in the grey shirt had a resemblance of me so they told him to take off his spectacles and I cannot even comment if we were similar.

They looked like hot stuffs if compared to me. Seriously, they already reached thousands of followers on Instagram while I only had just over a hundred.

There they are, my father's cousins with their spouses and my parents in this photo. Seriously, too many coconuts in the photo.

Happy Lunar New Year once again.

The Beginning of My 2017 Life

At first, everything went just as what I anticipated. But just a couple of days before New Year, one of my General Study teacher gave us a few titles to choose from and make ourselves a public speaking speech. We were to hand it in by the first week of second semester of school.

However, my very intimidating mother (she scares me a lot) wanted me to join her to Miri and celebrate New Year there, which I was in the middle of making that public speaking speech. I thought I could tell her that I should stay at home but she insisted and eventually upset that made me force myself to agree.

Nothing was special about celebrating New Year in Miri anyway. It was the same as when I was at home.

On the first day of school, I was really exhausted and I was even barely could open my eyes and stay focused in my class. (Still doing that speech)

On the second day of school, I barely could move my limbs as I was already exhausted from doing homework from the first day and making that speech, that made my parents told me to rest. (They don't know why I got very tired)
Later that day, they thought that I was still asleep but I pretended to be asleep. I heard about their complains about me, disappointments about me, and I was surprised to hear what they were discussing about me. That made me reminded myself to keep quiet for as long as I can.

On the third day of school, I was totally refreshed and my speech was handed in on that day with my homework finished. However, I was feeling down about no one even knew that I was absent on the day before. Even the person who sat beside me, nor behind me. I was feeling like I never existed in my class. Since they never actually asked why I was absent, so I kept quiet.

To be honest, happiness was never a part of me any more since last year. So whenever someone interact with me, I was always in a serious tone or being a little too much of sarcastic. That made others not even care about me and I was lonely.

Loneliness has been a part of me to replace my happiness. I am very pathetic you know. I was still okay, I always tell myself that I am still alive and may be I still have a purpose to live. No one have to know what I feel like. I could always fake myself a laugh and never got sad. Anger now is taking over me.

I felt terribly bad that I always got mad at my mother and always being the sulking freak in my family. I don't know why. May be it was because I thought I was strong? Or was it I don't want to show my weakness? So much for my ego.

I am now the least got attention from anyone. I think. Suddenly I thought about this blog and may be I could feel better if I express my piece of mind here. I know that if I express them here, no one will read it. I already checked out the number of visitors to my blog, and only 10 visitors on the first day and got lesser the day after that. But I don't know if they read it or not. That's the other problem. And the best thing about express myself in my blog is that no one in my circle knew that I had a blog.

I will try to hold back my bad attitudes and anger. As long as no one should know the agonies of pathetic life. Good luck to myself then.