The Reason Why I Went to Form 6

Here I am again, in Kubong Secondary School. I never thought I will continue to be a student in that school again. But this time, as a Pre-U student. Unfortunately, the town I am currently living does not have a college for Pre-U students. Unlike many other towns, they had their own college.
Actually, I was initially applying for a bunch of study institutes. Firstly, matriculation college. But I was told that I was not selected. So, cross out that one. Next, UPU. While waiting for it, I had to be a Form 6 student, which I initially disliked. When the UPU result came out, I was told that I did not get anything. Nothing at all! Out of 12 courses and universities, I got Z-E-R-O. Yeah. I'm so pathetic. That is why I don't get anything. Thank you.
However, I really cannot tell the reason why I was 'REJECTED' from these applications. The last place or refuge that I can go is Form 6. It is not all bad right? I can still pursue my dream, even if it might be a bit harder than the other applications that I wanted.
Well, self-sympathy will not make me go anywhere unless I had to prove that I can do it. To be honest, my parents are working for the government. I am not loaded like most of my Chinese friends and acquaintances. They also had the same fate as mine but they had the money to study in the private universities.
I'm feeling so down, actually. Born as mixed Chinese and Iban. But 95% of the community see me as Chinese which the fact is I am not fully Chinese. That is why I don't get rights in my own country. So readers, if you are not a Chinese, don't marry Chinese. Because your children will end up like me. Unless if you're a Chinese woman who marry other races then it is a different story.
I could not feel the justice in my country. So much for unity, LIES. Most of my friends of this one common type of race(you'll get me if you're a local), had worse SPM 2015 results than mine got to go good government colleges and government universities. Yeah, it is clearly that I am hoping on government which eventually turned down my hope. It feels like I am being thrown into Form 6. Many might or already look down on me because of having good SPM 2015 result had made me end up in Form 6 rather than colleges or universities.
People might say that I am making up this kind of situation but I only want to tell the truth. I don't want to stir up racial issues, or what they call it 'racist' or anything. But this is my issue. An issue to be told, not a propaganda, not a complaint, not a rebel or anything that might cause serious trouble. It just that, now I can see the world clearer and now I am living in the real world. I did not know about this when I was younger because they were not in the books or newspapers. So, I guess I'll live my life to the fullest. What they say, YOLO.

Gawai 2016 Celebration

It was really fortunate for me to celebrate this unique harvest festival with my Iban relatives as it is a symbolic for Sarawak celebration. In other words, I am glad that I am a part of this tradisional culture.

That's me during the first day of Gawai when all of the longhouse residents 'ngabang'(visiting) every room in the longhouse.

The longhouse that I was staying was called Rantau Dilang. And the 'tuai rumah'(chief) was Awan. So the longhouse is called Rumah Awan. Luckily, I can speak the dialac. Besides, it was my first time staying in the longhouse at the interior of Sarawak. The longhouse is located in Kanowit, Sibu division.

The longhouse was located near the majestic Rajang River, longest river in Malaysia. Some still continued to take bath from the river water as they got used to it.

I wished I had the photo of I was 'ngajat'(an Iban tradisional dance) at the night before Gawai. It was really embarassing because I don't even had the moves on 'ngajat'. Had fun though. And excuse me, I am sorry to say that I don't drink or smoke like these guys here. It really seemed like I was only there to make a documentary, which was partially true.

Every time we 'ngabang', the lady(standing) in this picture will recite the prayer in order to bless the food we were about to eat.

The food were all delicious. And I can tell that the food is 80% taken from their garden and farm. Like the 'pansuh' chicken or pork, smoked ducks or chicken or pork. No wonder their kitchens were always in use.

There were a few things I did during the stay,
1. Eating without spoons or forks
2. Eat more meat than vegetables
3. Plucked the chickens' feathers(first time)

There were a few things I learned there too,
1. The customs
2. The locations and the names of the parts of the longhouse
3. Freezing cold at night
4. Be generous
5. Learn to adapt to their culture(I only 50% adapted)

There were some problems too during the stay at the longhouse. It was water problem. The pressure was not strong enough. Well, that's one of the challenges I had to overcome.
In a nutshell, I was elated and tired during the stay. A little bit of excitement too, also a sprinkle of anxiety due to some valuables I brought with me. Happy Gawai Day to all the people who celebrate!